


Coitus Disturbus

by AnonAutobot



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Kink Meme, M/M, Sticky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:29:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3536282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonAutobot/pseuds/AnonAutobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short snippets that tell a story of time interrupted</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this kink meme prompt: http://tfanonkink.livejournal.com/3587.html?thread=5336835#t5336835  
> REQ: G1 - Ratchet/Wheeljack - frustration, bad sex  
> Ratchet and Wheeljack haven't had a chance to get it on in what feels like forever, so they try to set aside some time for themselves.
> 
> Problem is, shit just keeps going wrong. Constant interruptions (Wheeljack left something going in his lab that ends up blowing sky high, Decepticon attack, Sludge got his head stuck in a giant bucket, Prime walks in on them umpteen times). They just can't find a position they're both into. One's in the mood and the other's exhausted. All sorts of frustrating shit. They keep trying, and it keeps not working.
> 
> Bonus points if they finally manage to get in a good snog or two by the end, even if they have to go AWOL for a week to manage it.

“Finally.” Ratchet pulled Wheeljack close to him, grateful that things had calmed down.  
“Yeah.” Wheeljack echoed just before Ratchet kissed him. He let himself lean into Ratchet’s taller frame, letting the day melt away. The day had been hectic, a small skirmish with the Decepticons flooding the medbay with, thankfully, minor injuries. There were no mechs left in the medbay, just the two of them. The first chance they’d had to spend any time together all day. First time they’d had any time together all week. Ratchet stroked Wheeljack’s cheek with his thumb, leaning in again for another kiss.

“Ratchet?” Ratchet groaned, pulling away from Wheeljack.  
“Knew I should have fragging locked the door.” He muttered, turning to answer Optimus Prime.  
“Yes, Prime?” Wheeljack snapped his blastmask back in place, stifling a sigh. It figured, the first time alone for a week, and they had to get interrupted.


	2. Chapter 2

Ratchet arched as Wheeljack’s talented fingers rimmed his valve. He let out a moan, throwing his head back as Wheeljack slid two fingers into his valve.  
“Frag, ‘Jack, yes.” He urged Wheeljack on. Wheeljack silenced him with a kiss.  
“I haven’t seen you properly in two weeks, I’m going to take my time.” He promised Ratchet. Ratchet shivered at the promise. It always seemed to be this way lately; their shifts opposing one another, meaning that they spent little time together. And that wasn’t counting the Decepticon attacks. But Wheeljack had snuck away from his shift early so they could be together.

“You feel so good.” Wheeljack purred, fingers scissoring in Ratchet’s valve. Ratchet’s only answer was a moan. Which was drowned out by the explosion that rocked their quarters. And most of the Ark. Wheeljack froze.  
“Did I leave that experiment running?” He asked wonderingly. Ratchet groaned and covered his optics. Their commlines beeped simultaneously.


	3. Chapter 3

Ratchet moaned happily as he lay back on the berth. He’d spent a long day doing an inventory of medical supplies so that on the next run to Cybertron, he could replenish what he was low on. Wheeljack snuggled up close to him, kissing his cheek.  
“Feel better?”  
“Now that I’m off my feet, yes.” Ratchet shuttered his optics, systems beginning to slow down. Wheeljack lay one hand over Ratchet’s windshield, spreading out his fingers. He kissed Ratchet’s cheek again, levering himself up a little to kiss Ratchet full on the lips.

Ratchet responded to the kiss, then pulled away.  
“Not tonight, ‘Jack, I’ve barely got enough energy to keep my optics online.” Wheeljack flopped back on the berth next to Ratchet with a groan.  
“Figures.” He muttered to the ceiling as he heard Ratchet’s systems cycle down into recharge. “Three weeks and the one time we actually get to spend the night together, he’s exhausted.” He complained to the silent room, offlining his own optics and cycling down into recharge himself.


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh, you like it when I’m working.”  
“Only when you haven’t got anything dangerous around.”  
“Ratchet, _I’m_ the dangerous one.” Wheeljack smirked, pinning Ratchet against his workbench and leaning up to kiss the medic. Ratchet moaned into the kiss. He did love when Wheeljack took control over their lovemaking.

“Wheeljack, you said you wanted to see me?” Optimus Prime stepped through the doors to Wheeljack’s laboratory. Ratchet and Wheeljack’s foreheads met as they groaned simultaneously.  
“Sorry, was I interrupting?”


	5. Chapter 5

They lay on the berth together, limbs entwined, kissing one another. Four weeks, and they’d finally found a few moments to just be together. Resting his head on Ratchet’s windshield, Wheeljack purred happily. A few stolen moments weren’t enough. No time to appreciate each other.  
“This is nice.” Ratchet murmured softly, fingers dancing across Wheeljack’s backblades, making him squirm with pleasure.  
“Yeah…” Wheeljack was going to say more, but loud knocking on the door to their quarters interrupted him.  
“Mama Ratchet, you help me Grimlock.” Ratchet groaned, both at the title and the fact they were being interrupted yet again.  
“I swear there’s no peace in this place.” He grumbled to Wheeljack. “What’s the matter, Grimlock?”  
“Him Sludge got head stuck in bucket.”  
“Bucket?”  
“Bucket.” Ratchet groaned again, reluctantly detangling himself from Wheeljack.  
“I’ll be back.” He promised Wheeljack with one last kiss before disappearing out the door, leaving Wheeljack to wonder exactly where on Earth Sludge had managed to find a bucket large enough to fit his head into.


	6. Chapter 6

“Inventory, Is that what they’re calling it now?” Wheeljack grinned as Ratchet pushed him to a sitting position on a stack of crates.  
“Well, after all the work I put in, I think I deserve a little help this time, don’t you think?” Ratchet purred. The last time he’d done inventory was all on his own and he’d been exhausted afterwards. Too exhausted to do anything but recharge.  
“After all the work you put in, I’m surprised there’s inventory left to do.” Wheeljack teased. Ratchet’s optics flashed with amusement.  
“There’s not anything left to do.” Wheeljack moaned as Ratchet knelt in front of him, leaning forward to nip his neck cables.

“First Aid, is Ratchet around?” They both froze as they heard Prime’s voice in the medbay.  
“Of all the fragging times to come looking for me.” Ratchet grumbled from between Wheeljack’s legs. Wheeljack could barely think of a reply, let alone vocalise one.  
“He’s doing inventory with Wheeljack.” First Aid replied brightly. “They started in that storage closet.” Heavy footsteps towards their location marked Prime’s movements, and the door slid open, light flooding into the storage closet.  
“Oh…” Well, it had to be the first time Ratchet had ever heard Prime at a loss for words.


	7. Chapter 7

Wheeljack stepped through the door of their quarters and heaved a sigh of relief. Home. Off shift. And best of all? Ratchet was off shift too. Five weeks and they’d barely been able to spend any time together without being interrupted.  
“’Jack.” Ratchet’s arms folded around him, and Wheeljack leant gratefully against the larger mech. Ratchet steered him over to the berth where he had energon waiting. Settling himself carefully on the berth, Wheeljack drank the cube Ratchet handed him. Ratchet sat on the berth behind Wheeljack, pulling the engineer back to sit between his legs, back resting against his windshield. Wheeljack let out a soft moan. Feathering his fingers along Wheeljack’s side, Ratchet nuzzled a headfin.  
“Finally some time together.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to the headfin.  
“Yeah.” Wheeljack agreed, a hitch in his voice. Ratchet tilted his head, sending a scan washing over Wheeljack.  
“Wheeljack! Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?” He wormed his way out from behind Wheeljack, tools flicking out as he set to work repairing Wheeljack.  
“I didn’t think it was that bad?” Wheeljack answered weakly, leaning back as Ratchet worked.


	8. Chapter 8

“How is he?”  
“Still in stasis, but at least this time it’s medically induced.” Ratchet scrubbed a hand across his face. “Fragging Megatron.” He grumbled, tidying away his tools. Wheeljack looked over at Prime before turning back to Ratchet.  
“Prime’ll get him next time.” He helped Ratchet put away the rest of his tools, following him into his office.

Ratchet sat down at his desk, pulling out a datapad to compose the report on Prime’s injuries. Wheeljack rested his hands on Ratchet’s shoulders, fingers working the tense cables in Ratchet’s neck.  
“Mmmm…” It earned him a groan of appreciation. He continued like that, touch turning more intimate as Ratchet didn’t protest. In fact, Ratchet put down his datapad and turned his chair around, pulling Wheeljack onto his lap.  
“And just what did I do to deserve such treatment?” He purred, talented fingers finding the sensor nodes in Wheeljack’s hips and activating them. Wheeljack arched, struggling for an answer. Ratchet grinned, tugging Wheeljack down by his headfins to kiss him.

The sound of alarms ringing stunned both of them; Ratchet shooting up out of his chair and sending Wheeljack sprawling on the floor.  
“Fragging Prime.” Ratchet had disappeared out the door before Wheeljack had a chance to register what had happened. He heard raised voices and stuck his head out the office door to see Ratchet berating Prime.  
“Of all the fraggers… medical stasis is done for a reason, to give your systems chance to recover. Not for you to override because you’re a martyr.” Ratchet grumbled, jabbing at buttons on the monitor to silence the alarms.  
“But I…” Prime’s voice was quiet in the now silent medbay.  
“But I nothing.” Ratchet glowered. “You are going back into stasis and you are not to bring yourself out of it.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Yes!” Wheeljack rolled over, forcing Ratchet on to his back and crowing triumphantly. Ratchet shook his head fondly, surging up and rolling them again so he was back on top.  
“Six weeks…” He murmured, gazing down at Wheeljack. “Six weeks and we haven’t had a chance to do anything.”  
“We can now though.” Wheeljack replied, looping his hands behind Ratchet’s neck and tugging him down for a kiss. Ratchet moaned happily, fingers skimming down Wheeljack’s frame. Wheeljack arched up, reaching for one of Ratchet’s hands, taking one finger in his mouth and sucking. Ratchet’s pleasured cry was lost in the klaxons sounding across the base.  
“Decepticon attack!” Red Alert’s voice screeched across all commlines.

“Did you see Ratchet?” Bumblebee asked as they made their way back to the Ark. “I don’t know what got into him, but I saw him actually pick Soundwave up and throw him at his cassettes!”  
“That was nothing.” Cliffjumper scoffed. “Should have seen the gun Wheeljack pulled on the Seekers.” His voice was full of awe.  
“Never seen him so mad.” He stretched out his sensors, locating Wheeljack and Ratchet in the cavalcade of vehicles. They were right at the back, driving as close to one another as possible.


	10. Chapter 10

“Ratchet?” Ironhide’s voice boomed in the medbay, prompting an irritated grumble from the medic in his office. He stomped out. Wheeljack followed, sliding his battlemask back into place.  
“Got a bit of a problem, Ratch’.” Ironhide didn’t seem at all phased to have caught them in the middle of something. He was supporting Optimus Prime, one arm looped around the Autobot leader’s waist.  
“It had better be fragging important.” Ratchet muttered, moving to help Ironhide help Prime to a berth.  
“It’s nothing, really.” Optimus tried to protest, tailing off at a stern look from Ironhide.  
“Here…” None too gently, Ironhide prised Prime’s legs apart, displaying a large gash on the inside of his thigh.  
“How the… wait, I don’t want to know.” Ratchet held up a hand as Ironhide opened his mouth to explain.  
“Six weeks without a ‘face and I get interrupted by ‘bots who seem to do nothing but ‘face.” Ratchet grumbled to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

“So Hoist’s covering the medbay.”  
“I’ve got no experiments running.”  
“Ironhide is keeping Prime… occupied…”  
“So how about we occupy ourselves?” Wheeljack grinned, reaching for Ratchet. Ratchet moved easily, covering Wheeljack’s frame with his own, mouth fastened onto Wheeljack’s.

Straddling Wheeljack, Ratchet let his hands roam over his plating, teasing at the edges of armor seams, and tugging that one wire under Wheeljack’s bumper guaranteed to make him moan. And moan he did, arching up. Ratchet grunted as something shifted in his hip.  
“Ow, no… can’t do that…” He moved off Wheeljack, slumping on the berth and massaging his hip.  
“That’s okay.” Wheeljack reassured him, his own hand coming up to rub at Ratchet’s hip. They rolled onto their sides, kissing, grateful for the chance to finally do something without any interruptions.  
“Eek.” One of Wheeljack’s backblades scraped the berth, prompting a surprised squeak from the engineer. Ratchet sat up, immediately checking that his lover was all right.  
“I’m fine…” Wheeljack nodded, settling himself on Ratchet’s lap. “Now, where were we?” He asked, leaning forward to kiss Ratchet. Only to stop inches from his mouth as their chestplating collided.  
“Frag this.” They both looked at one another and rolled onto their backs, staring up at the ceiling.  
“I swear Primus has it in for us.” Wheeljack muttered, reaching for Ratchet’s hand. Ratchet squeezed his hand in agreement.


	12. Chapter 12

“Hoist, do you know where Ratchet is?” Optimus entered the medbay, looking for the medic.  
“No idea Prime. Last I saw, he was heading towards Wheeljack’s lab.”  
“Thanks.” Optimus left the medbay and made a right up the corridor towards the labs.

“Perceptor?”  
“Optimus?” The microscope tilted his head as Optimus stepped into the lab.  
“I was looking for Wheeljack.”  
“I’m afraid he left about twenty minutes ago. Why?”  
“I wanted to ask him about the next supply run to Cybertron, and I can’t get him on his comm.”  
“How strange.” Optimus nodded and left the lab, heading for the rec room in the hope that someone else had seen Ratchet. And Wheeljack, because it sounded as though they were together somewhere.

No one in the rec room had seen either the medic or the engineer. Patience growing thin, Optimus Prime headed for the security center. Red Alert would know where they were.

“And they’re not answering their comms?”  
“No.”  
“That’s not good.” Red Alert’s fingers flew over his keyboard, optics scanning the numerous monitors in front of him. “Ratchet should always be contactable by comms. It’s not good to have our chief medic out of touch.”  
“I know, Red.” Optimus nodded, one hand patting Red Alert’s shoulder consolingly.  
“Ahaha. Found them.” He pulled up an shot from ten minutes before of Ratchet and Wheeljack heading away from the Ark, up the mountain path leading to the little garden Hound had constructed.  
“Thank you Red.”  
“But Optimus, I really don’t think…” Red Alert turned, ready to stop Optimus, but he was too late. Prime was already out of the security center. He turned back to the monitor, upping the sound to the nearest camera to the garden. He didn’t want to miss this.

“Frag it all to the Pit and back!” Ratchet’s shout echoed around the security center, and Red Alert hastily lowered the volume. He hadn’t realised Ratchet could shout that loudly.  
“That’s it!” Wheeljack’s voice was equally loud.  
“I’ve had enough. I’m putting in for a holiday, immediate now.”  
“Me too.”

“But…” Outnumbered, Prime could only watch as his chief engineer and chief medical officer stormed away from him hand in hand.

“Red Alert to Prowl, Ratchet and Wheeljack will be incommunicado for a few days.”  
“Prowl to Red Alert, understood. Thank you.”  
“Red Alert to Smokescreen, you might want to check your betting pools.”  
“Smokescreen here. Really? Did Prime catch them in the act again?”  
“Oh yes.” Red Alert’s tone was almost gleeful.


	13. Chapter 13

“Finally.” Ratchet pulled Wheeljack close to him, grateful that things had calmed down.  
“Yeah.” Wheeljack echoed just before Ratchet kissed him. He let himself lean into Ratchet’s taller frame, letting the day melt away. Since their altercation with Prime, they’d driven away from the Ark, heading somewhere remote where they couldn’t be disturbed by anything. They didn’t want to take any chances. They’d found a remote mountain area, where the only inhabitants were a few woodland creatures. Settling in a cave, they relaxed for the first time in weeks.

“I can’t believe everything that’s happened.” Wheeljack murmured against Ratchet’s windshield.  
“I know. But we’re alone now.”  
“And I intend to make the most of it.” Wheeljack pulled back to look at Ratchet.  
“As do I.” Ratchet purred, kissing Wheeljack. They lay down together, hands roaming over each other’s plating.

Wheeljack arched as Ratchet’s glossa probed his valve, teasing the sensor-laden edge. He spread his legs wider, silently encouraging him to continue. Ratchet did, moving his glossa a little faster and bringing his hands into play. Wheeljack’s hands smoothed across his helm, fingers gently pinching the point of his chevron. He moaned, the vibration moving through Wheeljack’s valve and making him moan anew.

Ratchet could feel Wheeljack’s legs tensing as his overload approached. He pulled back, prompting a whine from his lover. He smiled at him, ducking his head down to swallow Wheeljack’s spike. Wheeljack cried out, overloading hard, hands clutching at Ratchet’s shoulders.  
“Frag…” He muttered, trembling as he rode the aftershocks of his overload.  
“Good?” Ratchet asked with a mischievous smile.  
“You know it was.” Wheeljack tugged him up, loving the way Ratchet’s frame covered his. When they kissed, he could taste himself on Ratchet’s lips.  
“I missed this.” Ratchet murmured, rolling and pulling Wheeljack on top of him. Wheeljack moved to straddle him.  
“Me too.” Wheeljack nodded, fingers tracing the seal of Ratchet’s windshield.  
“Plenty of time to reacquaint ourselves with it.”  
“Yeah.” Wheeljack smiled down at him. He could feel the heat from Ratchet’s interface array. “Mmm, seems like you have a problem with overheating there, doc.”  
“Yeah?” Ratchet arched, spike brushing against Wheeljack’s aft.  
“Yeah.” Wheeljack nodded, pushing himself up a little and angling his frame. “Luckily, I know just the cure for it.” He sank down over Ratchet’s spike. Ratchet gave a guttural groan, hands moving to Wheeljack’s hips.  
“Frag, but you feel good.” He moaned, thrusting his hips upwards. Wheeljack ground back down, circling his hips.  
“So do you.” Wheeljack leaning forward, bracing his hands either side of Ratchet’s helm so he could move.

And move he did, setting up a rhythm guaranteed to send them both heading for a quick overload. Ratchet went over the edge first with a cry of Wheeljack’s name, hands clamping onto Wheeljack’s hips and stilling him as he thrust up and overloaded. Wheeljack whimpered and overloaded, valve clutching at Ratchet’s spike. He slumped forward onto Ratchet, barely having the energy to hold himself upright. Ratchet purred, stroking Wheeljack’s helm.  
“Love you.”  
“Love you.” They lay there, sated and relaxed, undisturbed for the first time in over six weeks.


End file.
